December 18, 2016 § Leave a comment
It’s really difficult to accept sometimes, especially when you’re easy to forgive and forget – at least on the surface. No matter how strong the attraction, if you can’t figure out how to move forward together and keep crashing into the same walls, the walls you would have to find a way around, there’s no point. If neither of you changes anything in their approach you’ll never get past the wall. And all you can do is accept it and move along yourself.
October 3, 2016 § Leave a comment
Isn’t it funny how life asks you the same questions over and over again? It’s really hard to answer, when you feel like you haven’t got much to answer with. It’s paradox, because you’ve learnt so much in those past years and a lot has changed. But somehow not, because the core of the feeling, the core of your thoughts are still the same. And you don’t understand life any better, or people for that matter. Still, what’s the point of giving up, of getting bitterer. As those questions reappear, everything else does too. Feelings will change for the better, thoughts will seem worthwhile again, people will make you happy and then upset again, you’ll build yourself up to fall apart again and then stand up again. And as dull as it may sound, it’s been worth it so far, every time. Even if you just moved an inch, looking back. It’s OK! (And there might be more Montauks than you think. Well hopefully.)
February 10, 2016 § Leave a comment
Over a year has passed since my last entry and I don’t even know what I am doing here again. It occurred to me in the middle of the night that this blog still exists, after so many years – nearly 6 as I discovered just now – in the vastness of this Internet thing.
It isn’t easy looking at this without following my strong wish to edit or delete most of what I’ve produced up on here, but as I rather followed a trend than really digging into the blog world when I started this, I feel quite fortunate now not having to carry the weight of disappointed followers on my shoulders.
This feels a bit like my semi-private little secret, lying around for one or the other to take peak and get bored after a view seconds. That thought actually amuses me.
At the moment I have a view ideas bubbling in my head, mostly music / sound related, and I thought this forgotten blog could become a helpful medium to keep track and also push myself a bit over the limits of my sketchbook. A more organised documentation of my phantasms one must hope.
Anyway, to get to the point of unrelated nonsense: I am trying to create a new field for myself which I will call something like print related experiential design, which of course is nothing really new to the world, but it feels like the silver lining to my professional skills mixed with my personal interest.
It all started with me attending guitar classes, getting to know professional musicians and learning new ways of listening, which branched into an interest for field recording and soundscape design and a general wish of expressing myself through the audible.
Currently I am in a state of total cloudy confusion with flashlike epiphanies, confronted by basically non-existent guitar and vocal skills and crazy dreams about big sound art installations inbetween intimate live gigs and secret soundcloud mixtapes.
I was always a big dreamer and full of ideas, but acting those out was not my biggest strength, if it didn’t come to a point where it felt like absolutely pressing and indispensible (which sometimes required years of build up). I tend to get lost in fear of “It’s going to suck.” failure with a hint of capitalistic “What would you do with that anyway?” afterthought which just leaves me frustrated and even less inclined to “Just do it!”.
And to DO IT, those two youtube findings – one accidental, one not – felt like a start to just take it as it comes and set the stone rolling. So enjoy, future me or whomever else is randomly coming across this. Two very different but very inspiring snippets that could just make you feel light enough again to take the next step into the music and sound sphere.
April 26, 2014 § Leave a comment
I made this small series of pictures the other day, just following a quick idea. They’re quite self-explanatory.
Today I accidentally stumbled over this (thanks to facebook), which apparently started as an idea during a sleepless night and has been going on since 2007.
“A little idea Ryan and I had late last night. Why only save photos in your iPhone, when you could imprison your friends for eternity?!”
Brad Smith wrote in his Flickr album.
Several people contributed: “I guess the photo could represent the fact that these new devices, while incredible and extremely useful, are sometimes so convenient, they actually enslave their owners. As someone who loves his iPad, iPhone, and MacBook Pro, I happily succumb to my enslavement…” Ryan Pendleton
And slowly we are contracting to one big brain.